Williams: I think fearlessness is super important. I think as you grow with the experience that you get, you think of it as a wound – if you burn yourself, obviously you don’t touch the fire again. So you’re learning behaviors that make you stop and that gives you this healthy fear — because there is a healthy fear and, you know, kind of like a godly fear as well. And it’s not a bad thing. It’s just a precaution that we need.
Williams: And then we also, unfortunately, gain through our experience, some unhealthy fears. And I know I’ve experienced that in tennis for sure, when, you know, I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in New York, in particular in New York and other places as well. But just at the [US] Open, it’s been you know, it’s been hard. And I know a lot of people have seen it. And it’s just what is it? Bad luck? I don’t know
Meghan: But hold on a second, unless you want– can I jump in there? Because there
are certain things that I know you won’t want to say. About your experience, but I lived
through a lot of that with you.
Williams: Yeah, but there are some experiences I didn’t deserve at all.
Meghan: Oh my gosh, of course. You were treated completely unfairly.
Williams: It just wasn’t one thing, I’m telling you. The reason that I have trauma from it was because it’s been like five things or more. I know the first reason — the Hawk-Eye — became like a thing was because they were calling my balls out and they weren’t even close to the line.
Meghan: Serena’s referring here to her US Open Quarterfinals match against Jennifer Capriati in 2004.
Williams: In that match I had this fear of hitting because every time I hit a ball, they
would call it out no matter how close it was or how far it was. And it became impossible to play because it was like they just kept calling [the balls] out.
Williams: So that was one of the first things that happened, and there was a plethora of things that happened after that. But eventually I remember playing in Australia years, years later, [and] I just didn’t have the Serena in me because I was afraid. I was afraid to be Serena because of all the experiences that I’ve had and I ended up losing a match because I was afraid to challenge, or to be myself.
Williams: I can’t win being someone different, I have to win being Serena. And sometimes that’s more fierce. But is it fierce when, you know, guys are saying, come on and pumping their fists? It’s pretty exciting. But for me it’s pretty – it’s aggressive. Or it’s what is, I don’t know, they said that I… oh my goodness, I’ll never forget. There’s one article that said this guy was passionate and I had a meltdown and I was like, wait, how do I have a meltdown? But this guy’s passionate.
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