Tim Lambesis’ First Interview Since Split With Former Bandmates

Tim Lambesis has given his first interview since four of his former As I Lay Dying bandmates quit back in October.

Within the span of a week, Ryan Neff, Ken Susi, Nick Pierce, their tour manager Alex Kendrick and longtime guitarist Phil Sgrosso left the band. Each of them provided mostly vague statements regarding their decision, but some of them shared similar sentiments regarding “concerning patterns of behavior.”

By that point, Lambesis was the only member remaining in As I Lay Dying.

Several weeks later, two videos of Lambesis and his wife Dany surfaced online that showed the couple arguing and the singer acting in a disturbing manner. Lambesis addressed the videos in a statement asserting that he’d filed a restraining order against Dany for alleged domestic and verbal abuse, and suggested she made the videos public as retaliation against him because he filed for divorce from her.

Lambesis’ First Interview Since As I Lay Dying Members Split

The frontman recently appeared on fitness coach Justin Wenzel’s podcast for his first interview since everything with the band and Dany transpired. During the conversation, he reasoned that his relationship with Dany altered his behavior and thus caused his bandmates to give up on him.

“I wasn’t going to talk about it because I didn’t want to let anybody know how deeply unhealthy things were because then they would tell me I have to leave the relationship. I wanted to find a way to fight and stay so I just kept it in,” Lambesis explained.

Lambesis Doesn’t Blame His Bandmates for Leaving

“The irony is that my relationship ended at the same time that those guys sort of gave up, per se. I’m not blaming them, but the solution occurred at the same time that they felt like they no longer were — they didn’t want to stick around because they felt like there was no solution.”

The vocalist noted that he doesn’t blame his former bandmates for not intervening in his personal life because he admitted he isolates himself when he’s struggling mentally. He also acknowledged that his past — which involved him being incarcerated over a decade ago for attempting to hire someone to kill his wife at the time — isn’t something his bandmates were willing to endure a second time.

And thus, he felt the need to internalize his relational problems even more.

Lambesis admitted that his bandmates had witnessed him have verbal arguments with his ex on tour, and they sometimes questioned what was going on if he and Dany disappeared for a certain amount of time.

The Reason Lambesis Feels He Seeks Out Toxic Relationships

The singer believes the reason he develops such unhealthy and codependent patterns is because he’s trying to fill the void of having lost his relationship with his children. But he don’t fault people who don’t feel bad for him.

“I think that’s a criticism that’s warranted because I’ve had plenty of opportunities to take a step back and heal from that, but I never wanted to talk about it,” he said, adding, “Twelve years ago is when I was arrested, and in the last 12 years I maybe acknowledged that loss once or twice.”

The Future of As I Lay Dying

Later in the conversation, Lambesis justified his decision to carry on in As I Lay Dying, asserting that his purpose in life is to make music. However, he doesn’t want to share details about the evolution of the band just yet because for now, he wants to focus on healing from his relational codependency.

“I do feel like my task right now is to be further down this healing path… However awkward it is for me to share that and cry about it, there’s clearly something that’s been unaddressed for the last 12 years in my life,” he admitted.

“I don’t want pity, I don’t want sympathy. But I want to address it. I want to be able to talk about it and say, ‘This is what’s held me back.'”

Watch the full episode below.

Tim Lambesis’ First Interview Since Split With Former As I Lay Dying Members